Mysterious Raven
by Grey Tulip
Summary: Raven is acting somewhat odd, even for Raven, and Starfire is determined to find out why, yet when she does she is thrown into a struggle of emotions she does not want to respond to. Raven x Starfire
1. Chapter 1

**First, sorry to vic elor for stealing their idea of Starfire going through her friends dirty pics. It's the only thing I extracted, I swear.**

Starfire's POV

There were these hidden folders on the PCs of the others. I guess I have always been a fairly curious person, so when I realized my friends were hiding something from me, something they apparently did not want to share with anybody it trickled my curiosity. I doubt they knew I had any idea, nor did they know of each other's secrets, except maybe for Raven, since she knew almost everything that happened inside the tower. So, when one day Raven sat on the roof meditating and, as I had experienced, would not notice anything for the next few hours, while the boys were in town to buy groceries, I took my chance and went through the rooms of the others to download their "secret" folders. It went not without complications: I took me some time to find out what Robin's password was, while Cyborg's computer tried to attack me with ray guns when I entered a wrong one. The most difficult operation, however, was to get past Raven's defenses. The password was Azarathian, meaning while figuring it out I had to look every possibility up in a dictionary first. Finally, when I got past that, it took me hours to find the folder. I already considered I had been wrong about Raven having such a hidden secret on her PC when I found something called "holiday pics". Next to the title there was a photo of the five of us on a beach. I remembered that day very well, though it had been nearly a year ago. We had taken the day off to go swimming and blazing in the sun. Now I remembered that Cyborg had shot a lot of photos. Raven must have asked him to get them.

Still, I was quite sure it was only a cover. I tried to download it, but I just could not. She must have put some kind of save on it that I could not detect. Yet I had the ones of the others. I would have to take a look at her secret over in her room some time later.

I could not sit still at the table while eating dinner, my excitement and curiosity getting the better out of me. The boys were completely oblivious to it, but I could sense Raven could tell I was excited and wanted to get back to my room, though she chose not to comment it. Probably she was trying to figure out what I could be so excited about, but I could not say for sure, because she was as unreadable as ever. I had to make sure to get to her room later when she was out.

After dinner I made my way up the stairs to have a look at the secrets of the others. Part of me told me that I should not do this since after all it was their secrets, but I had come so far that I definitely would not stop here. So I sat down at my computer and tentatively opened the first folder, which happened to be Beast Boy's.

I was, let's say, surprised when I saw what was inside the folder. I smiled. After all, it was naïve to believe the others were not sexual beings, too. Looking at the pics and videos I realized Beast Boy had a knack for smaller, dominant girls, of whom quite a lot looked suspiciously much like Raven. It was not that much of a surprise to me, after all I had knew he always had had a thing for her. I was just not sure whether she reciprocated his feelings or not. I was curious about that but would wait till later as Raven's pics where still on her PC.

The next one was rather a surprise, since I had not expected Cyborg to have it in for a certain pinkhaired girl we knew. However there were some videos with girls slightly resembling her, plus some pics that definitely showed Jinx naked. I had no idea where Cyborg had gotten these from, if he had secretly installed some kind of camera or whether he had somehow gotten them from the internet. I had to remember to cautiously hear Cyborg out on how he liked her, if it was just sexually or also personally. Another thought struck me: Maybe they were already an item and she had given the pictures to him freely. I had to investigate on that subject later.

Right now, I went on with what I had taken from Robin's computer. He seemed to have a thing for tall redheads, though there were some other videos, too. I was not entirely surprised, I knew he had a thing for me even if I was not sure how I myself felt about him. Still it was nice to know he thought of me as attractive. But my fondness for his attention quickly turned to anger when further down I saw some of the other pics were showing me naked, even a small video of me doing it to myself. My first idea was to run into his room and beat him into a pulp, but then he would know that I had gone through his stuff which, I have to admit, was not totally decent, though now I was glad I did. So instead, the next thing I did was search for the camera that had to be somewhere in this room. It took me nearly an hour to find the damned thing. Seething with fury I stormed into the living room. Raven sat on the couch reading but tore her eyes away from her book at my entrance, since being an empath she had already sensed my anger, while Cyborg and Beast Boy, who were playing one of their unavoidable racing games, only raised the instant I screamed at the top of my voice for Robin to come down immediately. Eventually he came, nonchalant as ever, which only fuelled my fury further than it already was.

"You certainly have no idea what this is?", I asked him, stretching out my right hand, the camera clearly visible on the palm.

His eyes widened considerably at the sight of the little object in my hand. Then, after a moment, he regained his composure. "I have no idea what you're talking about", he declared calmly, but with a hint of uneasiness in his voice. Cyborg and Beast Boy still took some time figuring the meaning of the gadget Raven definitely had by now. Our whole set of dishes got shredded at the violence of her emotions. I was a bit surprised by the force of them considering the fact she always kept her feelings low, especially such disastrous ones like fury, but right now she was on the edge of losing control of herself. Even regarding how hard it was for her to trust anyone and thus how hard it was to for her see this trust disappointed I could not shrug the feeling she was acting to something else, too.

Since I stood with my back to Raven I could not see her, but I could feel the aura of her magic flowing around her. Robin gulped audibly.

"Now", Raven said in a dangerously calm voice, "Robin, maybe you would like to stay out of Starfire's room? Because if you don't, you can't run anywhere I can't catch you." To back up on her point Raven send out her power out to crush the camera on my palm, leaving behind nothing but a smoking piece of – something.

"Come on", she said, turning to me, then leading me up the stairs. "Oh, and Robin, you don't have to look for your PC, I will take care of it."

In the evening at dinner, though the atmosphere was still a little tense, everybody was back to their usual self. Cyborg and Beast Boy seemed a little awkward while Raven was back to her usual reclused way of live. Robin was pointedly ignored by them all. He looked very crestfallen so I turned towards him.

"No hard feelings! Still, it was not a nice thing to do. If I ever catch you so much as glimpsing at my privacy, I will flay you."

"Understood", he said, but sounded relieved. After that, the others started going back to normal with Robin, too, so we could finish dinner in peace.

"You shouldn't have let him off the hook already. He definitely would have been fine with a little bit more punishment. ", Raven said to me when we walked up to our rooms after ending our meal.

"I know", I said, sighing. "I just could not let him suffer like that."

"No, I know you can't do such", Raven said. "It's part of why I like you as a friend."

Now what was that? It was not actually usual for Raven to display her thoughts like that. I had no time to ask her, however, because before I could say anything she vanished inside her room, leaving me alone to ponder over her odd behavior. Not only had she lost her usual monotone voice a lot of the time but also showed her feelings twice, first by getting angry at Robin and then by telling me she liked having me as a friend. Plus, she had lost her temper enough to let the dishes explode. There were not a lot of things that could heat Raven's temper like that. There was Trigon, her demonic father, but since he had been defeated it was unlikely. I was quite sure she would have told us if he came back somehow, too. Should somebody endanger her friends, she may would, but even if what Robin did was not nice and damaged her trust in him, her response to it was multiplied by something else. Since it was not hate which she only truly had for Trigon, it could only be love. I was certain now.: Raven was in love. I thought who it could be for. Most likely it was Beast Boy who had tried getting at her since Terra was gone. I knew she had not liked it at first (who could blame her, she must have felt second best) but her reactions to Beast Boy's attempts to get under her skin had eventually evened down. She no longer despised them but grew to accept them. Maybe more, I thought. I had to carefully prod her about that at breakfast tomorrow. And I had not come to ask Cyborg about Jinx, either. I would do that tomorrow, too. With that resolve on my mind I fell asleep.

The next morning at the dining table, everything was close to normal once again. Cyborg and Beast Boy fought over what to eat, while Robin stood between them and tried to cool them down. Raven sat in the corner with her tea.

"Beast Boy looks hot today, does he not?", I said in an attempt to get Raven to blush to confirm my suspicions. Raven nearly spilled her tea while shooting me a look that clearly read: You must be joking. Then she regained her composure and with her trademark dry voice replied:

"I had no idea you took a liking in the green guy."

I shook my head furiously. Now I was blushing myself. "No no no no no, I like him, but not in that way", I answered fast.

"Now what a surprise. Maybe you could like him in his dog form. He certainly is a lot cuter that way."

"Hey, now that is mean", I said, but could not stop myself from laughing. Cyborg, who obviously had heard part of the conversation gave me an irritated look but soon resumed his discussion with Beast Boy about what to eat. Raven allowed herself a little smile that made her look kind of cute. If I were a boy I certainly would be drooling all over her right now.

"So, Starfire, why is it you suddenly say something like that?", Raven asked, serious again.

"You are in love", I stated, by now totally sure of it. "I was just wondering with whom. I figured it had to be Beast Boy since he likes you a lot, but obviously I was wrong." She looked rather shocked to hear I had found out she was in love, but quickly relaxed when I mentioned Beast Boy's name as it showed I had no idea who it was really.

"So who is it", I prodded. "Cyborg? Robin? Aqualad?" Now she really blushed. "Aqualad?", I asked once again.

"What? No!", she answered quickly, in an appalled tone that went past her usual dry one and definitely showed I was wrong on that one, too. "Now stop asking", she mumbled, slowly calming down. We talked for a bit about other things, which, as it was most of the time, consisted of me talking and her listening.

I had planned to ask Cyborg about Jinx, but it happened I did not need to, because when we all sat down Cyborg hit his glass with his spoon and stood up. He looked slightly discomforted but still kept his ground. After clearing his throat he nervously announced:

"I gotta tell you something."

"You don't say", Raven replied, but quickly shut up wincing a little at my elbow in her rips.

"Do not make this any more difficult for him than it already is", I whispered at her.

"I and Jinx are together", he finally said. Everyone smiled and congratulated him. I tried to put up a surprised smile but failed. He of course noticed this and asked me:

"You knew?" I blushed and started stammering but before he could get any nearer to the truth Raven saved me.

"If you run around grinning like an idiot every time we meet her of course", she said matter of factly. I silently thanked every god above for sparing me the embarrassment of having to tell I went through his things.

All this time, I had not forgotten that I still had not had a look at Raven's secret folder. So when two days later everyone was gone once again, I went into her room. Since I already knew her lock-on password and where to look for it I quickly got were I wanted to be and opened it.

I was sure I had been wrong: it definitely were pictures from our last trip to the beach. I now remembered that Raven had had the camera for a certain amount of time in her own hands, so she must have taken a few photos herself. These should be the ones. The first one was one of all of us in our bathing clothes. I distinctly remembered how we all positioned in front of the camera: a nice man who too was at the beach that day had taken it. We were laughing for the picture. Even Raven displayed a small smile. The next ones were of me and Beast Boy building a sand castle. Then came some that showed me and Robin racing into the water, the sand dashing the air around our feet. Then came some of us all (except Raven, since she had been shooting the photos) in the water: me and Cyborg playing ball in the water, Beast Boy circling me as a shark (I had gotten a huge shock suddenly swimming next to a shark), Robin and I splashing water at each other. Some of me and Raven on an air mattress that Cyborg must have taken. The last ones showed me lying in the sand on my back, sleeping. It was only then that I realized that I was in a lot of the pictures. I went through them once again and discovered that, in fact, I was in every one of them. Now that was odd. Even though we were best friends I had not expected to be that appreciated. I liked the thought that I meant that much to Raven, still. The others were also her friends, or were they not? Utterly confused, I left Raven's room and went back to my own, just in time before the others reappeared, many unanswered questions on my mind.

When we watched the news on TV that evening, there was something about a parade with people who were waving rainbow flags. The moderator said something about a "gay pride parade" and that they were fighting for something he called "homosexual marriage" which quickly got the others agitated.

"I can't believe there are still people who think this could be right", Cyborg scoffed. "It just ain't! It's been a man and a woman always. And it mustn't be any other way."

"I don't care, honestly", Beast Boy said, shrugging.

"We have to do something against it. It's against nature and with that the will of god." Cyborg reacted loudly.

"What is it you are talking about?", I asked, tentatively, since they were rather heated.

Robin answered me. "They are talking about homosexuals."

"What are homosexuals?", I asked, curiously. It had to be something quite bad that Cyborg had such a problem with it.

"Homosexuals are misled people who think they are falling in love with someone of their own gender", Robin spat.

I was surprised. "Is it not illegal?", I questioned him. On Tamaran you are not allowed to kiss (or even do more) with somebody of your own gender. Obviously it was not quite the same on earth.

"No, it is not, but it should be. It's immoral!" I was shocked by the amount of venom in his voice, but I could not help thinking he was right. Back on Tamaran my parents thought me it was wrong to love someone of the same sex. They told me those people were misled, too. Still, the hate in Robin's tone almost made me shiver.

"I think so.", I said hesitantly.

"Think about it before you say something like that", Raven replied to my comment calmly. I could , however, sense her emotions were boiling, too. "And Robin", she turned to him with an icy look in her eyes "I doubt a guy who is spying on a girl in her bedroom has much say about morality." And with a huff she disappeared up the stairs, walking slowly and calmly, but I just knew she would have run up them had it not been for her dignity.


	2. Chapter 2

I was perplexed. It was not usual for Raven to act like that though she had acted strange a lot the past few days. It was not like someone had attacked her or anyone else. She had somehow managed to keep her temper since nothing had been exploding, but as she had been on the edge of it. I wondered about why she would be so angry. And why had she wanted me to overthink what I had said? I did as she said and overthought her question, but I still could not see her point. I had been right about what I had said, I was sure. It was against nature if people of the same sex were together: they could not get children, they could not make love in a proper way and it just did not fit. Had god wanted us to love someone just human unbeknownst the gender he would have made us all hermaphrodites. So what was her problem? I would go up anyways to cool her down. I was her friend after all, so I wanted to know she was well. When I reached her room, however, I noticed Beast Boy leaving her room. I knocked, a bit hesitantly, but there was no need to be shy since Raven was her usual self again. Apparently Beast Boy had helped her solve her problems. I went in and was happy to see Raven tranquil like she always is.

"So you like Friend Beast Boy like that after all", I chuckled.

"Just believe me, I don't", Raven said, frowning.

"Hey, calm down, I am just joking", I eased her.

"I could have sworn you were serious on that one", Raven replied in her typical sarcastic tone.

We talked a bit more about this and that, never touching the delicate subject of Raven's reaction earlier. She was all right now, I did not want to destroy that.

Later I thought about Raven's odd behavior again. I was still sure it was love that made her so emotional. I just had to find out whom she was in love with so I could help her to get from cranky to happy. Since it was obviously not Beast Boy that left Robin and Cyborg inside the tower. Of course, there always was the possibility that someone from outside was Raven's secret love. I knew she thought of Aqualad as attractive, as she did with Kid Flash. There probably were some others, but I would start investigating with these four. I just had to carefully nudge her to get some answers on who it was. Glad to have a plan I went to bed, planning to start just the next day.

The next morning, she was very cold towards Robin and Cyborg, exceeding her normal Raven-ness. She seemed to hold me on arm's length, too. The whole Breakfast she appeared distant towards everyone but Beast Boy. I heard Cyborg mumbling something under his breath about the "two turtle doves" but I knew them being together was not what this was about. More likely, Raven had told Beast Boy whom she had fallen for. I directly changed my plans then and there and instead of sounding Raven out which I knew was going to be difficult I decided to ask Beast Boy what he knew. Maybe he would drop a hint.

After breakfast I approached Beast Boy to ask him directly.

"I am worried about friend Raven. She is not herself lately. You would not have an idea as to why?"

"You really have no fucking clue, have you?", he muttered. "Anyways Raven asked me no to tell you, so I won't."

"Please tell me", I wined, pouting the best I could muster "Who is it?"

He raised his eyebrows. "At least that you noticed. But I can't tell you. She would not want you to know."

"Why not?", I asked, surprised. "I am her best friend, surely she would want me to know."

"I can't tell you why, but I can tell she definitely wouldn't." And with that he turned away, signaling the conversation was over for now.

Why would Raven not want me to know for whom she had fallen? In the past we had shared such things with each other, too, even the time we both had had a thing for Aqualad and should have been competitors, but really were not and had told each other everything about it. And Raven still saw me as a friend she could trust with such things, she had told me just two days ago she liked me as a friend, so why would she tell Beast Boy but not me? I could not help feeling a little bit insulted she did not tell me though I tried hard to convince myself she would surely have told me had she not a valid reason not to. Even if I had no idea what this reason would be. As much she had amazed me in the past years, Raven had never left me this clueless to what she was thinking or feeling. She had always been hard to read, had always been sort of a mystery, something that made her seem both intriguing and distant at the same time. And then there were those pictures of hers that clearly showed that she paid me a great deal of attention as her best friend, so why would she close away from me on such an important matter? Maybe she was not sure about what I would think of him, that I would despise her decision. Maybe she had it in for one of the villains. Now I was sure I had to ask her directly, confront her about it, to find out about it. But first I had to let her know she would always be my friend no matter what. I opted for taking it slowly. I would wait for a good chance to tell her I would support all her decisions even if I thought them wrong. I would try to talk to her, just the two of us. Maybe then she would tell me.

The chance to tell her I would trust her with my live came earlier than I expected it to be. We went out in search of Plasmus who had gone missing again. At least that was how the prison guards put it. More likely, they had not been able to keep an eye on his, so he escaped. I liked the idea of just telling them square on, but, of course, I could not just do so. Still, I was not exactly pleased at the thought of having to hunt him down, though it was not as difficult a task since he left a quite visible trail of destruction through the whole city. But he had expected us and put on quite a fight even if an angry Beast Boy in the form of a dinosaur and gashes from Robin's hits on his stomach had slowed him down a bit. It was, however, not until I and Cyborg joined the fight that we finally got the upper hand over Plasmus.

"Please, Friend Raven, be our defense at the defeating of Plasmus", I called out at her.

She nodded wordlessly while Cyborg and I got into the center of the fight. I was really glad she was to be our backup, since otherwise Plasmus most likely would have smashed both of us at least three or four times. This way her powers always build a force field or put some object in between him and me or Cyborg, so we soon got close enough to take him down. Raven was not really happy about my plan, though.

"Why did you put yourself in such trouble?", she asked, in an astoundingly unRavenlike voice. "It was just Plasmus. We would have taken him down eventually anyways, so why did you have to?"

I was surprised at the amount of concern she showed, but answered nonetheless: "I trusted you, Friend Raven, to defend us."

She grew silent while I could see the conflicting feelings fighting in her. For one she still was angry at me because I endangered myself and Cyborg in such a way, on the other hand she was touched (she really had to be touched if I could see it with Raven) at my trust in her.

"Whatever", she finally said, clearly reluctantly since she obviously still was worked up.

Back at the tower as we walked up to our rooms, I asked her once again.

"Friend Raven, would you mind telling me what is bothering you? I am your friend, I will accept all of your decisions." She still was avoiding answering. I heard her mutter she thing under her breath, but the only words I caught were "…not every decision." I turned to her surprised.

"Which decision of yours would I not support?", I asked her, astounded, but determent to find out what it was that was bothering her this much.

"You remember that discussion we had at about homosexuality recently?" It was not really a question, so I just nodded and motioned for her to go on. "Well…I…", she hesitated for a moment before going on "I liked a girl very much, too."

I looked at her, confused. "I like you very much too, Friend Raven. Is there a problem with that?"

She sighed "I liked her as in I fell in love with her. I know you don't like that idea of a girl falling in love with another girl, you told Robin so yourself, but please try to accept I'm bi." She waited, then realized I most likely did not know the word, which I indeed did not, and went on: "Bi means I think of both boys or girl as a love interest", she explained.

"Oh", I voiced, then added "I will try to accept your orientation, Friend Raven."

She smiled one of her rare smiles, and then said: "That's all I ask you to do."

After that encounter, I went to my room to think. My Parents always told me it was wrong for a woman to crush on another woman, but Raven had done so in the past and there was the possibility she would again. I had told her that I would support her every decision, but she was right: I had a hard time to do so here. True, it was not in for me to interfere with love, but I was nearly sure that love between to people of the same gender does not exist. It was always some kind of odd fault on both sides, two people who thought they were meant for each other but really were not. Why would there be two genders otherwise?

I remembered having had nearly exactly the same thoughts shortly ago after Raven asked me to overthink my judgment of homosexuals. I had been sure back then of what I believed right. I was not that sure anymore. It was some shade of grey really. I mentally cringed. If it was a shade of grey like the ones in E. L. James "50 Shades of Grey" it was not what I thought love was. Love was between two equals, was it not? There was nothing more equal than two people of the same gender.

Wait, I just shot my own knee…

Why am I thinking like that? It is not like I stand on one side and try to convince someone that I am on the good side. I am just gathering facts, nothing more. Am I? Of course I am! And thus I will not change my opinion. Period!

As I went to the living room, I saw Beast Boy on his way to, just then leaving his room. Knowing he was the only one except me Raven had told she was bi, I went to talk to him. He most likely was not the most grown up and sensible person, but I knew he would listen to my dilemma and at least try to find a solution for my problems. So I stopped him just outside the door to ask him for his opinion.

"Friend Beast Boy, would you be so kind as to help me with a problem?", I asked him, suddenly feeling nervous about what I was to ask.

"Of course I'd help you, Starfire. What are friends for?" He smiled genuinely. "What's it? Is it about Raven?"

I nodded.

"What has she told you?", he asked.

"She told me she liked getting romantically involved with girls and… wait, there is more that I do not know?" It had taken some time but finally the realization struck home. He had wanted to test how much I knew before talking to me about her.

He cringed a bit, then said, a bit to quickly "Nothing. Anyways, what did you want to talk to me about?" He tried to change the subject. I let it slip this once, deciding that Raven would eventually tell me herself when she was ready to.

"I do not know what to do, Friend Beast Boy. Friend Raven asked me to accept her orientation, but I do not know how I can. It is wrong to love somebody of the same sex. It was never meant that way."

"Imagine your dream boy. Can you see him?" I nodded. "OK, and now imagine you and him, you fall in love." I nodded again. I had no idea where he wanted to get to, but I was willing to play along. "And we run into some evil scientist who somehow messes with your genes and suddenly you are a guy. You meet up with your boyfriend. You still love him. Would you give him up because you turned into a guy?"

"I… but that is not the same", I said rather lamely.

"Why? This way or that way, we end up with two guys in love. If you can accept it in that case how can you not accept it if both were of the same sex already in before?"

My head swirled with reasons why it should be wrong, but somehow I had none that could match Beast Boy's argumentation. I hated to admit I had been wrong, but it seemed as if I had.

"I… thank you, Friend Beast Boy. Your reasoning has helped me greatly." With that, I pulled him into a hug and only released him the moment I noticed he was getting short of breath. I smiled and me went into the living room.


	3. Chapter 3

"So you`re OK with that?", Raven asked me.

I am, Friend Raven. I do not particularly like it, but I am willing to accept it."

She smiled genuinely. It was a wonderful smile that instantly had one wishing she would smile more often. And then she hugged me! I could not remember Raven hugging anyone, so I was utterly surprised when she actually did.

"Did you just hug me?", I asked, clearly startled.

"No, I just figured I'd put my arms around you for no apparent reason", she answered dryly. Now that was so typically Raven I could not suppress a chuckle, even if I tried to scowl at her.

She seemed all right at the moment and happy. There was a certain gleam in her eyes that was so outright intriguing you could even think of it as cute… if you were a guy of course. I was glad she was happy right now but I knew this could be fleeting. Meanwhile I still had no idea who it was she was in love with. I briefly considered to include females into my search but she had definitely said she had been in love as in the past, so it most likely was a guy this time. Maybe it was Robin. That would explain why she had been so shaken at the way he had bugged my room and the way he had been willing to disrespect my privacy. It grew more and more likely, as I thought about it. I would not ask her weather I was right with my suspicions but I would watch her very closely for the next few days. Maybe I could read something out of her behavior.

The next days I analyzed Raven's ways concerning the others. She was still acting rather cold towards Robin, probably she was yet angry at him for his undignified demeanor towards others privacy. She hardly noticed his attempts to make it up to her, and if she did she deliberately ignored him. I did not know for sure what to make out of it. She was a bit short tempered in regards of Cyborg because of his comments about homosexuals, but she was soon getting over it, so fast in fact that I could not help but thinking she had been confronted by such more often in the past. I could not help but feel a flicker of guilt tear trough me as I considered I had put her through this, too, even if just for a short time. When she had gotten over it she acted towards Cyborg as you would towards a friend. It was clear she harbored none but amicable feelings for him. As for Beast Boy she was very close to him, but in an amicable manner as well. She had once told me she was not in love with him, and she told Cyborg so, too, when he again went on about the "two turtle doves".

Somewhere along the Titans East came by. There was no particular reason, though, but as we all had not had a lot of missions lately we met up to talk a bit about this and that. It was nice to meet them for a change. Plus, I could have a look at Raven's behavior towards Aqualad.

As it turned out, Raven had, same as I, gotten over her obsession with him. I had to admit he looked good, but though (or maybe especially because) he posed his body to show it the best way possible both Raven and I had ignored his attempts to land with us. Raven paid no attention to Más y Menos either as they both were well under our age. She cast a few glances at Speedy but quickly lost any interest in him. Most of her attention towards them was focused on Bumblebee. Not only that they talked a lot, we all three did as we were the only girls in the room, but she also seemed to check her out, glanced at her chest carefully. Only moments later I noticed her checking me out, too, as if comparing the two of us to each other. I blushed a dark shade of red but at the same time could not stop myself from doing the same thing with them as well. I could understand what Raven saw in Bumblebee as she was sure hot in her belly top and skin tight trousers. Still she was no match for Raven who, though self-consciously hiding behind her cloak, had a certain aura about her and that skin crawling voice which both made her appear mysterious as well as hot. The hard-to-get kind of girl.

Somehow I was not as careful with checking her out as I should have been, because she blushed, too. I had never seen Raven blush before and I had to admit she looked really cute when she was all flustered.

Then realization set in, making me blush even harder and at the same time hiding my face in my hands. I had just checked two girls out. I had thought , first, that Raven was hot, and second, that she was cute. Really cute. Now as I had more or less come to terms with Raven having a thing for other girls it did not mean I had to hit on girls, too. Yet if I moved on at this rate I would most likely end up in some hot, steamy action with Raven before the night was done. I groaned and tried to scowl at Bumblebee who was obviously attempting to bite back her laughter, but as my face was still in my hands it did have quite the opposite effect and put her finally over the edge where she could not hold back.

Her hysterical laughter caused the boys to look over at us and shoot some questioning looks at Raven, who had been keeping her continence better than me or Bumblebee. She shrugged her shoulders casually. I really envied her for the ability to keep calm no matter what. As the boys turned away again, shrugging, and Bumblebee had eventually regained her composure I regained mine, too. From that point on, the evening seemed to go rather fine, until…

"Truth or dare?", Bumblebee asked me. We had started playing some time ago already, so it was the last turn. As we were ten in total everyone had just two goes at each of the others. This was the last one, and I was glad it was. Especially Bumblebee had had an embarrassing question about me and Robin on hand as I had picked truth.

"Dare", I said, as I feared that with the short display in before she might be tempted to ask me something embarrassing about me and Raven.

"I dare you to kiss Raven", she said unceremoniously. I stared at her in shock. Every question would have been better than that dare.

"I will get you back for this", I whispered at her, which was quite possible as we girls sat next to each other.

"Maybe", she answered, grinning, "but right now you have to fulfill the dare." Sad as it was this was the truth. If I did not, the others would pick on me for the next weeks for being a coward as I had backed out of a dare. I glared at Bumblebee one last time before turning to Raven.

She showed a surprising amount of emotion. It somehow seemed as if she wanted to be here and at the same time as far away as possible. But she did not run away, so I leaned in and kissed her. I felt as if a lightning bolt had jolted through me. I could see her eyes widen, then closing again as she slowly succumbed into the kiss. I fought it longer, but eventually I gave in to my feelings. I felt an incredible joy rush through my body, something a had never felt while kissing Robin. Everything but me and Raven blacked out. My arms unconsciously crept around her waist in an attempt to hold her closer. I could feel her breasts against mine. An impossible flash of heat shot through me. Then I remembered were I was and got out of Raven's grip. She looked at me caring and passionately at the same time.

"I… I need to go upstairs, Friends", I stammered, stumbling up the stairs past Bumblebee's knowing smirk, Beast Boy's questioning look as well as the startled looks of the other boys, and Raven's almost pleading eyes, pleading me to give her a sign of any kind.

"I need to think", I mouthed in her direction, careful so nobody else could see it. She seemed to understand as she grew content and gave me a nearly invisible nod. I smiled faintly and went into my room to calm down and think.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." I tried to meditate as Raven did to calm her thoughts. It only helped so far as my thoughts were in an uproar and meditating kept me thinking of Raven which in turn interrupted my meditation. With a sigh I stopped. I had cooled down a bit, that had to be enough. So I liked kissing Raven. Did that indicate anything? So I thought she was cute and hot, so what. I had never really loved Robin so it was not that surprising that I never had felt a lot when kissing him. But I did feel something at kissing Raven. I did feel a lot, to be precise. I longed to kiss her again. To hold her in my arms. I wanted to touch her, feel her body against mine, her firm round breasts in my hands… Something stirred between my legs and I felt heat rushing up my body. I groaned indistinctively. I had come up here to clear my head, not to fill it with some weird fantasies about me and Raven. OK, so I wanted to fuck Raven, bluntly spoken. I could live with restraining that. I could, however, not live without seeing her. I realized that I had taken her company for granted. I had nearly never been a day without Raven since we had met. I had grown close to her, closer than I had to my other fellow-Titans. I loved talk to her, loved her humor, the kind heart she had maintained regardless of her demonic blood and the oppressions she had lived with since her birth, her caressing nature, her protectiveness, all those sweet little things you learned about her when you got to know her. I even loved her flaws, like the way she hid her secrets away from everybody sometimes like a kid hiding a bag of sweets it has stolen. Or how she always acted cold and unreachable, because I knew the heart of gold underneath.

I had been in love with her for a long time already. I just never had let myself discover it. That I wanted her physically too was really just a nice bonus for me. Right now I did not care that falling for another woman meant I was not allowed to return to Tamaran unless Galfore was going to change that stupid law. He most probably would do so anyways, given the fact that he loved me like a father.

My thoughts shifted back to Raven. I smiled remembering the caring and passionate look on her face after I kissed her. Suddenly everything seemed to fall into place: her anger at Robin after I had detected that camera, her reaction at me saying I thought it wrong that people of the same gender should be together, her hidden pictures that all showed me, her anger at me for putting myself in danger while fighting Plasmus, the way she had acted strange all the time. It struck me that this all had been obvious for quite some time. I had just been too much in denial to see it. I still struggled with the thought of Raven being lesbian, but here I was and discovered I was myself. It was all just too weird. With all this thoughts whirling through my head I fell asleep.

_She kissed me, a soft, chaste kiss to the lips. My eyes were still closed, but I could feel to lingering warmth of one of her arms draped around my waist. The other one was contently placed on my stomach. Her mouth then closed in to my ear. I could feel her warm breath close to my ear, evenly rising and falling, comforting me._

"_Wake up, sleepyhead", Raven said. Her voice sent little waves of pleasure down my spine. I slowly opened my eyes…_

I blinked at the sun shining in through the window. Too bright for so early in the morning. No Raven. But that would have been too much to hope for really. Forcing my eyes open completely I stumbled out of the bed and carefully made my way to the dresser. I picked out some trousers and a t-shirt, not too colorful, something that I hoped would show my curves without offending Raven's sense for aesthetics. A short glimpse at the clock told me that it was not that early anymore, about nine o'clock, late enough for the others to be up as well. One last look in the mirror before heading out the door. No makeup as Raven had once told me she liked people to look natural.

As I went into the living room the others turned their heads towards me in greeting. The guys looked rather astonished to see me in such a plain outfit but the small smile Raven shot me was all the encouragement I needed. At seeing this Beast Boy shot me a questioning look, raising his eyebrows. I gave him a nod. He grinned. I knew he had had a thing for Raven in beforehand too as his pictures had showed, but either he had gotten over it after Raven told him she fell in love with me (which she had as she had spoken with Beast Boy alone that day, I had figured that much) or he simply had accepted that he would not get her and that she should be happy regardless. Either way, my respect for him grew considerably. He definitely was not the green hued idiot he had once been anymore.

Breakfast went by without any further disturbances. It was hardly believable how Robin and Cyborg could be that oblivious towards the small glances I and Raven cast at each other during dinner.

After dinner I went over to Raven: "Would you accompany me to the mall of shopping, Friend Raven?", I asked her.

"I would", she said, which caused even Beast Boy to look at her in utter surprise.

"Tell me I'm dreaming", Cyborg said, blinking.

"You're alright, Raven?", Robin asked jokingly. "Or do we have to worry?"

"This'd better be worth it", Raven said "I'm losing a reputation here." She tried to sound serious but the sparkling in the corner of her eye betrayed her. "Now let's get going." With that, she took me by the arm and we went out the tower, leaving the boys staring after us in astonishment.

As it turned out we only went to the mall for a short time since Raven really was not into shopping. I could, however, persuade her to buy a dark blue tank top and jeans. She was even willing to take off her cloak. This totally new look had me drooling all over her. It still felt somewhat odd to have such feelings for a girl, but there was no denying I definitely had. I wanted to shove her into one of the changing rooms right here, but before I could she said dryly:

"I see you like my new look. But I would really like to do the rest inside the tower where we have some privacy." I blushed so hard that my face looked as if it wanted to compete against my hair.

"How did you know?", I asked, flushed "Was I that obvious?"

"To an empath, yes. Mind you, to everybody else, too." This made me blush even harder. An uncomfortable silence stressed out between us, until Raven said:

"Now let's buy these, I can even wear them if you want", red spread once again over my face, still I managed to say: "Yes, please." "and then we could go towards the cinema and watch a movie."

I smiled at that. Soon we were standing in front of the cinema. She had asked me to pick a movie, but I still picked one with a little bit more action as I knew she preferred them. I knew she would not have protested had I picked a chick-flick but as we were here together she should have fun, too. We bought tickets for the last row which elicited a frown from the cashier as everybody knew what the last row was usually used for, but she gave them to us nonetheless. I obviously seemed a bit worried because Raven said:

"Don't worry. Some people don't like it but most don't mind. You've seen Robin' and Cyborg's reaction to that gay pride parade on the news." I stiffened, remembering that situation and the hate in Robin's eyes. "They will get over it eventually, too. She smiled at reassuringly. I relaxed. They would accept us, I had to believe that.

The movie started. The cinema was built conveniently with folding armrests, so the first thing I did was pulling that one up and snuggling closer to Raven. I could hear her smiling as she draped an arm around me protectively. As the movie went on I found myself more and more fixated on Raven. I admired her face, the way her lip moved ever so slightly at her emotions. All I wanted now was to kiss this wonderful woman next to me.

Finally, when I could not take it anymore, I took her face in my hands and turned her gently towards me. She smiled and pulled me close. We kissed. It was magic. Even more so than our first kiss as we both knew what we wanted from this and kissed consciously, not because of some dare. It sent shivers down my spine again and I could feel warmth spread through my body. I could feel all her passion and love in that kiss and I was certain she could feel mine, too. We were lucky that save for us there were only few other people in the cinema that day and they were comfortably far away as our kiss soon developed into a full-blown make-out session.

We did not see a lot of the movie afterwards, but I did not care. We walked out hand in hand and I could not help but grin like an idiot the whole time. She did not smile the all the way home but I just knew she was just as happy. We then decided to take a small stroll through the park, just talking, holding hands, and occasionally kissing.

When we reached the tower in the end it was well past eight. We most likely had missed dinner, but we did not mind. On the doorstep she held me back and asked:

"Are you sure you want this? I am grumpy, I may not be able to express my feelings and I am still a half-demon which means I get enraged easily."

"All of that makes you all the more intriguing. Now come on, Miss Grumpy", I said teasingly. I noticed that for the first time I had not called her Friend Raven but actually had used a pet name on her. She had noticed as well, because she smiled and said:

"Then let's do this."

We both took a deep breath and went inside hand in hand.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank to you all for your reviews so far, but special thanks to NarikotheShadow for their review, as it tipped me off on how to continue. Also, this chapter is shorter than the others. I probably could have written them as one, but it seems more fitting this way._

As we entered the living room was empty, no sign of the boys anywhere. In the end, we found them on the roof playing cards.

"Hi girls, how was your shopping spree? Did you actually manage to drag Raven through it, Starfire?", Cyborg asked, still with his back to us as did Robin. The only one to face us directly was Beast Boy. As he looked down at our entwined fingers a big, goofy grin spread across his face and he gave us a thumps up.

"OK, I'll bite", Cyborg said, and turned around. "What is…" He stopped mid-sentence, mouth agape. His eyes were fixated on our hands. Cyborg's sudden reaction caused Robin to turn around, too, with about the same reaction as Cyborg. We kissed lightly, as if to empathize our position.

"OK", Cyborg said in a startled and slightly shaken voice. It was clear he still a troubles to wrap his mind around us. He would eventually, I was sure of that.

"Nothing's OK. You don't know what you're doing. You're going against the will of god. Stop playing!", Robin ranted.

"Oh, Robin, I didn't know you were such a religious bigot", Raven mocked. That silenced him. With a huff, he stormed down the stairs and slammed his door shut.

I looked after him thinking if maybe I should follow him, but Raven held me back. "He's mostly jealous. He'll get around it." Remembering his earlier reaction towards homosexuals I was not that confident Raven was right, but her calm voice soothed me nonetheless.

"Congratulations", Cyborg said. "I'm sorry I act a little odd, I still have to come to terms with this." I was glad he had the strength to push his doubts aside in favor of his friends.

"Thank you, Friend Cyborg. You really are a true friend", I said, smiling broadly at him and hugging him tightly.

"Thanks, Starfire, but please… can't breathe…"

"Oh, I am sorry, Friend Cyborg", I said, smiling at him once again.

"Don't be. I'm half metal, after all. I can stand a lot. But I doubt Raven would appreciate you being that rough when you… you know." He blushed bright red. It took me a few moments to comprehend, but when I did I blush a color I was quite sure was not far from the color of my hair. Even Raven seemed to be blushing, though she hardly ever did.

"Just thinking about that again, I see", she responded dryly, not minding the blush that had spread on her face. She looked adorable with it, even if she certainly would not have liked me to tell her so.

"Sorry friends, but I would like to take…", here I had quite some problems. I could not really call her just friend anymore, could I? It took me some moment before I finally found a solution. "Girlfriend Raven away for a bit of the making out." This time she was blushing furiously.

""You don't have to tell them that much, you know", she muttered under her breath as we descended down the stairs to my room.

"They knew anyways", I told her. It was quite true, too.

The next few weeks went fairly well for us. Being out in the open, we finally had some time to get to know each other romantically, too. During one of her visits for Cyborg Jinx told us, to the surprise of all of us, she already knew for some time there was some kind of attraction between us. She actually must have found out I had feelings for Raven by a time I myself had not even thought about it as possible. Cyborg got used to the idea of me and Raven being together pretty quick, which surprised me. While I myself had had a slumbering love inside me to speed things up a bit, Cyborg had not. He really did turn around just on behalf of his friendship towards us. As for Beast Boy, he was his usual supportive self as he had been in beforehand. The only real problem was Robin. He secluded himself from the rest of us, hardly ever coming out of his room, and if he did, he did so to eat or for the missions, never for anything else. I was scared he really was that shocked by finding out we were an item that he did not only avoid us, but also everybody supporting us. I was devastated at the thought, but after talking to Raven about the topic, we quickly decided that he could impossibly just have problems with our relationship. Even though he did not approve of it, he certainly was not a person to lock himself in his room sulking. He was too rational; he would know doing so was useless. There was something else bugging him. We contemplated it may be that he had had feelings for me in before as well, but we could hardly say so for sure.

It actually took us some weeks to find out. We were, as we had done regularly, on our way to the rooftop after a nice date out in the city going for a swim in the indoor pool (it was too cold to swim outside) and having a nice dinner at a rather fancy restaurant near the center. But as we went up to the rooftop we found it was already occupied. We saw Robin on the roof snogging a smaller figure we could not really place.

"Hey", I called over to them in mock anger. "This is our making out place." They both jerked apart and turned their faces towards us. Obviously they expected anyone to walk in on them.

"Nice we don't have to worry about you having problems with our relationship anymore, Robin", Raven said in her usual deadpan voice that I found was so incredibly sexy. She then tucked at my arm, leading me away from the roof to let Robin and Beast Boy continue.

"So where are we going to instead, Girlfriend Raven?", I asked her curiously.

"How about my room?", she asked back.

"Yes, I would love to, Girlfriend Raven. I am very honored to see your room from the inside. I am so excited. What will we do once we get there?"

"If you are excited I am sure you will be disappointed. It's just a room. Nothing out of the ordinary. The only reason I don't let anyone in is that I don't like people prying into my privacy. I will make an exception for you though."

"Surely it cannot be that expressionless, Girlfriend Raven." What she said did nothing to contain my excitement: on the contrary, it fueled it.

She heaved a sigh. "There really is nothing in there. There is a bathroom, a dresser, a mirror, and a bookshelf." After a moment's silence she turned to me with what looked like Raven's expression of a smirk. "Oh, and, I forgot to mention", I was sure she had not forgotten, but simply wanted to point it out, "there also is a double bed." There was a certain gleam in her eyes that sent shivers down my spine. I definitely understood her underlying words. They were more or less the following: "Oh, and there also is a double bed which I plan on using to fuck you senseless this very night." I really did not need any further invitation.


	5. Chapter 5

**This passage is the reason the story is rated M. If you wanna skip it, do. It ain't really necessary for the understanding of the story.**

We fell through the door to Raven's room in a tangled up heap of limbs, but we paid it no heed. We resumed our kissing on the floor, hands roaming across each other's bodies. We were caught up in our lust. I tore Raven's leotard apart, leaving her in only her panties, while she just teleported me onto the bed, excluding my clothes. She came over to the bed, a sly grin on her face, her posture almost predatory, yet utterly sexy. Or maybe it was the way her breasts swayed from side to side. She was very beautiful (still is now, twelve years later). Her pale grey skin showed an elegance that was far beyond words. Her body was well toned and her movements were almost catlike. Her lilac hair made her look otherworldly, but not in a bad way.

Suddenly I couldn't move a limb, just lie on top of the bed and stare. I noticed I was shivering with anticipation. She noticed, too, and smiled. She lay down next to me and pulled me into a heated kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance. She won when I had to break the kiss for a moan. She had pinched my erect nipples with both her hands. In a flash, her tongue had moved down to my neck, and on to my left breast, leaving a wet trail behind. She sucked my nipple into her mouth while still attending my right breast with her hand. I sighed. It already felt so good, and though I did not know what would come I knew it was a whole lot more.

My hands found her head, and I softly caressed her hair with my fingers. I loved the feeling of her soft curls running through my hands. After a while she switched to the other breast, once again leaving me struggling for breath. By now I was very wet and the tingling sensation I had felt at first was replaced by an overpowering ache that desperately needed to be satisfied.

I pulled her head down between my legs. She grinned at me wickedly before diving inside. My head flung back as if it was driven by an invisible force. I could not even tell anymore what I felt, and really, I did not care as long as I felt the immense pleasure from between my legs and the love for the wonderful woman who did this to me. I loved Raven (I still do). Not only for what she could do to me, but for her gentleness and kindness, for her trust and faith, even for her sarcasm and stubbornness. Maybe that is not the kind of thought you should have while having sex, I do not know, neither care, but I did.

Finally, I could not withstand the pleasure. I arched my back as a powerful orgasm tore through me, starting at my core but very soon shaking my whole body. I screamed loudly, and as I was not really thinking I just screamed the words that circled through my head.

"I love you, Raven!" I had not meant to say it as I did, had always thought of telling the love of my life I love him (him, since I never had thought it would be a her in the end) under the shining stars outside, but I did not want to take back a word. Because as I looked down at Raven's eyes, they were shining like every star that I could have imagined to shine upon us, and with a joyful jolt I realized she felt the same way. I saw all the love and devotion I felt for her reflected in her own eyes.

My voice was suddenly leaden with my overflowing emotions and I all but whispered: "Please, let me show you." She did not say a word, but instead lay herself onto her bed on her back, presenting her body to me. I kissed her lightly.

My thumbs stroked her nipples ever so slightly while my lips trailed down towards her ear. She moaned lightly. Her body went completely limb. Slowly I went down to her breasts, leaving kisses all along the way. I could hear how her breathing caught for a moment as I teasingly licked her nipple. All the things I could make her feel! She sighed contently as I stroked my hands up and down the sides of her belly. I suckled on her breasts, marveling at the softness of her hot skin. I loved her big round boobs. I continued this for a few moments before I bit down, hard. She screamed. I shot her a wicked grin while she looked at me incredulously, if not a little intimidated. It may have been a bit egoistic, but had wanted to mark her as my girl. And I have to admit I loved to hear her scream. I wanted to hear her scream once again, but this time I wanted to make her scream in pleasure, not in pain.

I soothingly kissed her hurting breast before tentatively moving down on her. She still had her panties on. I could see her through them as they were soaking wet. I did not even bother to pull them down but just tore them apart.

She squirmed as she felt my tongue licking along the length of her lips. I repeated this a few times before diving with my tongue into her hot, wet canal. Her moans grew louder by the second. I started to explore her inside with my tongue, licking the sides of her walls as well as her clit, all the while stroking up and down her tights with my hands. Gradually I moved my tongue faster and deeper inside. I started to twirl it around inside of her. Her hips started to quiver and her breathing accelerated. I knew she was close, so I brought one finger to her cunt, shoving it in all the way at once. That was all it took to send her over the edge. She screamed my name in pleasure while instinctively grabbing my head to shove it even deeper between her tights. I licked up her juices while waiting for her to come down.

When her breathing had returned to normal, she pull me up to her face, giving me a soft, given the previous actions almost chaste kiss. As we broke apart, she pulled me into her arms, lightly whispering: "I love you, too, you know?" I smiled, and nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

_So here's the final chapter. Sorry it's taken so long._

We woke from the bright light of Raven's ceiling lamp.

"Raven," Cyborg's voice sounded "You've slept over the alarm. Robin's already looking for Star, so get…" It was then he noticed my head on the pillow next to her. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk in on you… I just thought…"

"Just get out", Raven said, barely controlling her anger. "And never enter my room again." I could almost hear her mentally adding an "Especially not under these circumstances". The big, black aura that engulfed her at that moment made Cyborg flee her room as fast as possible. I lay a pacifying hand on her forearm.

"He saw nothing but that we were in the same bed. That this would happen sooner or later was something he knew", I said, drawing my finger across her skin in calming motions. "Now, instead of getting angry, just kiss me, Love Raven." She complied, turning around to place a tender kiss right on my lips. I pulled her closer, resting my head in the crook of her neck. I heaved a content sigh, before straightening my shoulders and standing up, pulling Raven with me. We dressed as fast as possible, so when we took off it was only few minutes too late.

Robin was very anxious, why I do not know, maybe because of his relationship with Beast Boy, or because we were arriving late on our mission. He was even more wound up than he usually would be before a mission.

"So, what has happened that we have to go out to save the world by going on another mission, friend Robin?", I asked.

"Cinderblock is attacking the town again", he said curtly. That was all the information I would get from him, I was sure of that. We flew into the town in complete silence, a situation I would normally have thought awkward, had it not been for the the small smiles Raven gave me from time to time. It calmed me very much, more than I would have thought possible.

When we got to the side in question we found it was not, like always, deserted, but there were still a few people trapped in a building next to us, in the room on the far right of the second floor. The door was closed with stone that had fallen there when cinderblock hit the room next to it. The whole construction seemed rather instable, and had we had the time, the first thing we would have done would have been one of us flying up there to pick up the trapped people, but as it was we needed all our strength to fight Cinderblock.

We rushed at him, all fife of us, but he was prepared a lot better than the last times we met him. While he usually was not a very bright opponent, this time he thought. His thoughts ended in concentrating on an taking out the most dangerous one of us. Raven. While he simply took the hits we gave him, he concentrated his attacks on Raven, attacking her with both his fists again and again. Her energy blocked most of the blows, but I could see it rapidly dissipating. While she blocked the blows with her shields, they were taking a toll on her stamina. She fed her energy from her live force, and I knew sooner or later she would not be able to deflect his attacks because she was due to pass out.

The others knew, too, and together we tried everything to distract him, but to no avail. He solely blocked the hits that were bound to take him out. I was about to despair, when I heard Raven's voice inside my head.

"Can you attempt a fatal hit on his head? He will have no choice but to block that."

I had no idea on what she planned, but mentally answered: "Sure." I never knew Raven could build a mental link between herself and someone else, but I had to admit it was practical.

Instead of wasting too much time on thinking, I shot a bolt of light at Cinderblock's head before Raven's time would run short. He noticed and deflected, but just at that moment Raven knocked him in the chest with a gigantic wave of black energy. Through our mental link, I could feel her fainting. She had used all of her remaining strength to knock him out. She succeeded, but not like she had most likely hoped she would. Instead of flying back, Cinderblock stumbled, and when he fell, he fell towards her and towards the house the people were still trapped in.

It was a split second choice, but really it was not a choice at all. I only had the time to save either Raven or the people in the house. A hero is still human, or my case tamaranian, you know. So I flew over to Raven, picked her limp form up, and flew out of reach, blindly throwing a light-bolt at Cinderblock in the hope of somehow changing the fall of his body enough to also save the people inside the house.

I did not succeed. Cinderblock's body crashed into the Building like the stone it was, destroying it completely, bringing it to the ground, smashing everyone inside. I was shocked. We all were. Usually there were no people killed during our missions, but it was impossible someone could have lived through that. I would have minded way more had it not been for the limp body I still held cradled in my arms.

"Raven." I shook her lightly. "Raven." No response. I started to panic, though I tried my best not to. "Raven!", I called once again, a little more forceful. She moved feebly in my hands.

"Star", she mumbled.

"I am here", I said, wanting to reassure her. She mumbled some more, incoherently this time, and snuggled closer to me. "Love Raven, wake up."

"Hm", she said, then slowly started to open an eye. I could see how her memory came floating back to her. "What happened while I was out?" While I told it to her, her face slowly dropped. "Shit", she swore. Raven rarely ever swore, this showing how much of a problem it really was. Not only had people died, but I had had a chance of saving them. Instead, I put the live of a teammate first. As she was my friend and love, this was acceptable for every human but a hero. A hero was meant to save people, and to put, cruel as it is, the live of five people in front of the one of one person. In short, this was likely to destroy the future of the Teen Titans. I did not (still do not) regret this decision, though I knew this would haunt my dreams and may make me a possible target for hate and dirty stares. I valued Raven's live too much for that. It had been an egoistic thing to do really, as these people who had died had friends and loved ones, too, but right then I did not care enough to want to take back what I had done.

The following two weeks were hell for me. Though no people had been present at the fight, it was impossible to just overlook there were fife people dead, nor had it stayed under us how this had happened. Soon rumors spread that I had had a chance to save the dead, and yet I did not. The reputation of the Titans was bruised enough already by the fact that we had not been able to rescue the people inside the building, but the rumor I could have saved them and did not stirred things up. They did not know everything, though, did not know what had been on stake for me. I had no idea who of my fellow Titans had been so careless as to let this bit of information slip, and where. Maybe while chatting on the internet or something. Frankly, I did not want to know either.

When these rumors had spread, the waylaying had started. People had started to demonstrate at the tower, willing me to go through a trial, even though there was none as there were no hints to unroll one on as a basis. While these were relatively few and mostly peaceful, there were also the paparazzi. They stood there all day and all night. I did not get why, as we could easily get out of the tower flying, but it was really a bother for Cyborg and Robin, as the two of them did not have the means to just fly somewhere and always had to ask either Raven or Beast Boy to join them. Never me, as we had agreed that, until the worst had died down, I was better off not leaving the tower. I did not mind to be stuck so much as Raven almost always kept me company. I knew she did not, same as me, but the others did, even though it was less necessary for them to stay inside then for me.

Two more weeks passed, and nothing had changed. I was beginning to wonder

"You really think I can stay a Titan after all of this?", I asked Raven one day.

She had to think about it for a moment, but I was already sure her answer was not going to be positive. "I think you should leave the Titans. We will not be able to go on like this the way things are now. Media is a cruel thing, but it is going to be the end of the Titans if you stay. So yes, you should leave the Titans."

I had thought so, I knew this myself, but I really had hoped she would say otherwise as leaving the Titans meant leaving Raven behind, too. I never wanted that. I could still visit, but it was not the same.

"Sure", I mumbled, feeling empty inside.

She looked at me affectionately. "Don't worry, I'm not going to let you go alone", she said, smiling. I squealed and threw my arms around her neck. She smiled and kissed me. Not so very long ago she would have scoffed at my antics, but we both had changed. I guess I was able to do serious, while she had learned to be a bit more joyous.

I smiled into the crook of her neck. "I love you, Raven, and I want to stay with you forever."

"Cheesy", she said, in her characteristic deadpan voice, but added: "So do I."

TT

_So the typical words: thanks for interest, support, yada yada_

_But honestly, thanks to everyone for following, favoriting and reviewing, both in praise and friendly critic and advice. It has helped me a great deal to make this a story I hope is worthwhile reading._

_Grey Tulip_


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